Rank : 8 (English around the world)

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort.

.

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself..

Rank-less Breakup Mail generator

Now this is the most hilarious piece of software i have seen...
Auto-generating break-up mails is what i was looking for.. u know, its fast to automate all jobs u do frequently :D:P

check here
too good !!

My Rank : 10 (VRS posedis TOILET !!)

just amazing.. worth a watch !!

My Rank : 10 (The Sheep :D:D)

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex.

"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled.

"That sounds wonderful," said Jed.

"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."

"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"

"Baaaaa..."

My Rank : 10 (Chinese proverbs... just rocks!!)

CHINESE PROVERBS

* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~*

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
* ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~*
Man who run in front of car get tyred.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

* ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ *

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~ * ~* ~* ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
* ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ *
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
*~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
* ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ *
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
* ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ *
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
* ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ *
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
* ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ *
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
* ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ *
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

* ~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
* ~* ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ *~ *
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

My rank : 7 (PJss)

Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open
~~

Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
~~

Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-Bye
Santa: Oh, yeah? What's it?
Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good! Bye!
~~

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
~~

Banta: U looked troubled, what's ur prob?
Santa: I'm going to b a father
Banta: But, that's wonderful Santa: What's wonderful! My wife doesn't know about it yet......
~~

My rank : 10 (the bessssst)

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained.

"Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question

"Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me!"

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"That's okay," says the husband, "We were banned from the supermarket, too."

My rank : 7 (e and pi)

Top ln(e^10) reasons why e is better than pi

10) e is easier to spell than pi.
9) pi ~= 3.14 while e ~=2.718281828459045.
8) The character for e can be found on a keyboard, but pi sure can't.
7) Everybody fights for their piece of the pie.
6) ln(pi^1) is a really nasty number, but ln(e^1) = 1.
5) e is used in calculus while pi is used in baby geometry.
4) 'e' is the most commonly picked vowel in Wheel of Fortune.
3) e stands for Euler's Number, pi doesn't stand for squat.
2) You don't need to know Greek to be able to use e.
1) You can't confuse e with a food product.

My rank : 9 (2 guys at a bar !)

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.”

My rank : 10 (rated as best joke in the world)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

My rank : 10

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

My rank : 10

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

My rank : 9

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

My rank : 10

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

My rank : 5 (Aspirin !!)

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.

"That's it, I can never remember that word."

My rank : 9 (Sardar !!)

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

My rank : 6 (bad luck !!)

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

My rank : 5 (love at first sight !!)

Why do men like love at first sight?

It saves them a lot of time.

My rank : 8 (Diver !!)

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.

The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?"

The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

My rank : 9 (Times' up !!)

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

My rank : 8

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit....

Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you."

Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette.

Man: "Oh thank you so much!"

Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?"

Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.

Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!"

Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?"

Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"

My rank : 7 (Lottery !!!)

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Kentucky State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

My rank : 6 (AI !!!)

Artificial Intelligence stands no chance against Natural Stupidity.

My Rank : 10 (wife !!) ... lol

A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asks, "What's that for?" "It's for your headache." "I don't have a headache."

He replies, "Gotcha!";);)

My Rank : 5 (Lawyers !!)

A lawyer a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."

"No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening. With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. The Rabbi replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that this is an unclean animal."

His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door, "What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"

Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Yep, you guessed it! Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

My rank : 8 (Lawyers !!)

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One's a bottom-dwelling scum sucker and the other's just a fish.

My Rank : 9 (Marriage !!)

A nurse in hospital asks the patient with broken-down head:
Name?
Sameer Bhatia.
Date of birth?
06 September 1965.
Married?
No. Car accident.

My Rank : 9 (Lawyers !!)

A junior partner in a firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."

My rank : 7 (Think like a lowyer !!)

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"

The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"

My rank : 8 (The perfect landing !!)

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."

My rank : 7 (fundas !!)

- "Have you heard about the object-oriennted way to become wealthy?"
- "No..."
- "Inheritance."


If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.
If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.
If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.
If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.

In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.

C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.

With C you can shoot yourself in the leg. With C++ you can reuse the bullet.

Unix is user friendly. It's just very particular about who it's friends are.

Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug.


If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

My rank : 5 (Programmers !!)

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

My Rank : 7 (Lawyers !!)

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... No."

"Second, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheel chair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was cut off.

"Third, that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea ..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "... And I don't give any money to them, so why should I give any to you?!?"

My rank : 10 .. but deserves 20 !!

(Note for dummies : Chuck Norris : a martial arts professional and an action star)


1. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he simply stares the book down till he gets the information he wants.

2. Chuck Norris was the first one to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

4. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only
seconds away from death.

5. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was trying to run away from Chuck Norris.

6. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris

7. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said "There is nothing to fear but fear itself ... and Chuck Norris"

8. Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

9. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

10. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

11. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light ... not because he’s afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

12. Chuck Norris invented the spoon only to the fact that killing somebody with a knife is too easy.

13. God said let there be light and Chuck Norris said "Say Please".

14. Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

15. Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

16. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God, but God believes in Chuck Norris.

17. Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

18. Chuck Norris doesn't check his closet for the boogeyman.
The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

19. In church, a pastor was leading the house in prayer. He said, "God, please protect your believers, and deliver us from sin." Chuck Norris stood up and said, "What have you done for me lately?"

20. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

21. The Titanic didn't hit an iceberg, it got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.

22. Why did President Truman drop the first atomic bomb?
Because he thought it would be more humane than sending in Chuck Norris.

23. If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

24. The sun sets from fear of Chuck Norris.

My rank : 8

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus. ... It's a bug.

My rank : 10 :):)

A social worker asks a collegue: "What time is it?"
The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."
The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."

My rank : 5

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and smack the asshole in the head.

My rank : 9

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

GIRL : May I hold your hand?
BOY : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

BOY : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
kiss??
GIRL : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman

My rank : 8

Top ten excuses for not doing the math homework Rank 24 (ø 2,52 )
1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

My rank : 9.5

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"