My rank : 10 .. but deserves 20 !!

(Note for dummies : Chuck Norris : a martial arts professional and an action star)


1. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he simply stares the book down till he gets the information he wants.

2. Chuck Norris was the first one to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

4. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only
seconds away from death.

5. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was trying to run away from Chuck Norris.

6. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris

7. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said "There is nothing to fear but fear itself ... and Chuck Norris"

8. Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

9. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

10. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

11. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light ... not because he’s afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

12. Chuck Norris invented the spoon only to the fact that killing somebody with a knife is too easy.

13. God said let there be light and Chuck Norris said "Say Please".

14. Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

15. Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

16. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God, but God believes in Chuck Norris.

17. Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

18. Chuck Norris doesn't check his closet for the boogeyman.
The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

19. In church, a pastor was leading the house in prayer. He said, "God, please protect your believers, and deliver us from sin." Chuck Norris stood up and said, "What have you done for me lately?"

20. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

21. The Titanic didn't hit an iceberg, it got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.

22. Why did President Truman drop the first atomic bomb?
Because he thought it would be more humane than sending in Chuck Norris.

23. If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

24. The sun sets from fear of Chuck Norris.