tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77247295996964253632024-02-20T13:15:41.408-08:00Just for a laughJitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-89387094568796455982010-04-04T02:52:00.001-07:002010-04-04T02:52:04.816-07:00Talking ClockAfter closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet."What's up with the big brass gong?" one of his guests asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "Yup," replied Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-23899508511326876452009-10-16T07:02:00.001-07:002009-10-16T07:02:23.879-07:00A typical husband-wife joke(Nothing special about it, just a nudge to revive the blog (only sothat it can die again :D))Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.Wife: When must I give them to him?Doctor: They are for youJitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-82248170406042199242009-07-01T02:11:00.001-07:002009-07-01T02:11:28.949-07:00Rank 8: Computer Industry Acronyms(The freaking thing is : ALL of those are soo darnnnn trueee!!! )CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in MonthsPCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry AcronymsISDN: It Still Does NothingSCSI: System Can't See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor SpeedDOS: Defunct Operating SystemWINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole SystemOS/2: Obsolete Soon, TooPnP: Plug and Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-38375389045660846342009-05-21T09:44:00.000-07:002009-05-21T09:47:20.205-07:00Dilbert's oneliner's (Rank : 9)(I got this collection from here. Some of them are pretty common. But, its always good to be reminded of a nice one-liner. Brings a smile to your face)1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen. 2. A friend in need is a pest indeed. 3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. 4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time. 5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-43389605408935496992008-11-23T10:28:00.000-08:002008-11-23T10:36:22.529-08:00I can't even think of a suitable title!Now presenting .... World's most hilarious video ==> ClickBalls to those Hollywood guys... can you beat this?(Thanks to Abhijit for the awesome link to the awesome video!)Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-67056903904727732682008-07-08T04:16:00.001-07:002008-07-08T04:16:25.976-07:00Rank: 8 (Attitude matters)Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses, and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though, that no matterJitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-35282611854897933832008-05-28T02:02:00.001-07:002008-05-28T02:02:28.217-07:00Rank 8 : (Panda PJ)A Panda walks into a bar, sits down at a table and orders a beer and a double cheeseburger. After he is finished eating, he pulls out a gun and rips the place with gunfire. Patrons scatter and dive under chairs and tables as the bear runs out the door. After ensuring that no one is hurt, the bartender races out the door, and calls after the bear: "What the hell did you do that for?" The bear Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-5592761596478715732008-05-28T02:01:00.000-07:002008-05-28T02:02:05.977-07:00Rank 8 : (Czech)A Czechoslovakian man felt his eyesight was growing steadily worse, and felt it was time to go see an optometrist.The doctor started with some simple testing, and showed him a standard eye chart with letters of diminishing size: CRKBNWXSKZY..."Can you read this?" the doctor asked."Read it?" the Czech answered. "Doc, I know him!"Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-16757945829770659042008-03-18T12:46:00.001-07:002008-03-18T12:46:30.906-07:00Rank : 8 (Gunpowder........)A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age." So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96. When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-61665355456614626732008-02-05T09:42:00.001-08:002008-02-05T09:42:56.488-08:00Rank: 7 (Choices....)Wife : Do you want dinner?Husband : Sure, what are my choices?Wife : Yes and no.Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-39924477134280286072008-02-05T09:41:00.000-08:002008-02-05T09:42:13.742-08:00Rank: 9 (the thing about superstitions)1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-54295352420171441652007-12-17T23:35:00.000-08:002007-12-17T23:55:44.192-08:00Rank : 8 (English around the world)Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. . In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-14557069170945785972007-12-13T19:42:00.000-08:002007-12-13T19:45:26.721-08:00Rank-less Breakup Mail generatorNow this is the most hilarious piece of software i have seen...Auto-generating break-up mails is what i was looking for.. u know, its fast to automate all jobs u do frequently :D:Pcheck heretoo good !!Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-88264894863665760282007-08-15T21:38:00.001-07:002007-08-15T21:38:09.378-07:00My Rank : 10 (VRS posedis TOILET !!)just amazing.. worth a watch !!Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-11298012631808442652007-08-14T21:36:00.000-07:002007-08-14T21:37:07.604-07:00My Rank : 10 (The Sheep :D:D)Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled. "That sounds wonderful," said Jed. "Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-28474407521065695892007-08-06T14:42:00.001-07:002007-08-06T14:42:57.316-07:00My Rank : 10 (Chinese proverbs... just rocks!!)CHINESE PROVERBS* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~*Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.* ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~*Man who run in front of car get tyred.* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~*Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.* ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wifeJitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-43228685530834102912007-08-03T05:55:00.000-07:002007-08-03T05:58:55.554-07:00My rank : 7 (PJss)Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open~~Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.~~Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-ByeSanta: Oh, yeah? What's it?Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good! Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-84983735925686809792007-08-02T11:56:00.001-07:002007-08-02T11:56:32.430-07:00My rank : 10 (the bessssst)There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then he asks the middle aged couple the same Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-59707471098624782952007-06-19T05:24:00.000-07:002007-06-19T05:27:16.621-07:00My rank : 7 (e and pi) Top ln(e^10) reasons why e is better than pi 10) e is easier to spell than pi. 9) pi ~= 3.14 while e ~=2.718281828459045. 8) The character for e can be found on a keyboard, but pi sure can't. 7) Everybody fights for their piece of the pie. 6) ln(pi^1) is a really nasty number, but ln(e^1) = 1. 5) e is used in calculus while pi is used in baby geometry. 4) 'e' is the most commonly pickedJitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-36101734455920442912007-03-24T05:54:00.001-07:002007-03-24T05:54:40.171-07:00My rank : 9 (2 guys at a bar !)Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”The other says, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.”Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-64301500484159809742007-03-24T05:35:00.000-07:002007-03-24T05:44:22.626-07:00My rank : 10 (rated as best joke in the world) Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson. “And what do you Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-78034592755120623072007-03-24T05:34:00.000-07:002007-03-24T05:39:15.338-07:00My rank : 10 When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-31030248442656508992007-03-24T05:32:00.001-07:002007-03-24T05:32:50.472-07:00My rank : 10A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-31164981653362440822007-03-24T05:26:00.000-07:002007-08-07T03:29:22.105-07:00My rank : 9When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-39803781831684620632007-03-24T05:23:00.000-07:002007-03-24T05:32:00.792-07:00My rank : 10A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. IPraj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0