tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77247295996964253632011-06-07T23:54:14.848-07:00Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.comBlogger511100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-89387094568796455982010-04-04T02:52:00.001-07:002010-04-04T02:52:04.816-07:00

After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends.  He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet."What's up with the big brass gong?" one of his guests asked.  "It's not a gong.  It's a talking clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock?  Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "Yup," replied the drunk."It

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-23899508511326876452009-10-16T07:02:00.001-07:002009-10-16T07:02:23.879-07:00

(Nothing special about it, just a nudge to revive the blog (only sothat it can die again :D))Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.Wife: When must I give them to him?Doctor: They are for you

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-82248170406042199242009-07-01T02:11:00.001-07:002009-07-01T02:11:28.949-07:00

(The freaking thing is : ALL of those are soo darnnnn trueee!!! )CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in MonthsPCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry AcronymsISDN: It Still Does NothingSCSI: System Can't See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor SpeedDOS: Defunct Operating SystemWINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole SystemOS/2: Obsolete Soon, TooPnP: Plug and

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-38375389045660846342009-05-21T09:44:00.000-07:002009-05-21T09:47:20.205-07:00

(I got this collection from here. Some of them are pretty common. But, its always good to be reminded of a nice one-liner. Brings a smile to your face)1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen. 2. A friend in need is a pest indeed. 3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. 4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time. 5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-43389605408935496992008-11-23T10:28:00.000-08:002008-11-23T10:36:22.529-08:00

Now presenting .... World's most hilarious video ==> ClickBalls to those Hollywood guys... can you beat this?(Thanks to Abhijit for the awesome link to the awesome video!)

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-67056903904727732682008-07-08T04:16:00.001-07:002008-07-08T04:16:25.976-07:00

Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses, and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though, that no matter

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-35282611854897933832008-05-28T02:02:00.001-07:002008-05-28T02:02:28.217-07:00

A Panda walks into a bar, sits down at a table and orders a beer and a double cheeseburger. After he is finished eating, he pulls out a gun and rips the place with gunfire. Patrons scatter and dive under chairs and tables as the bear runs out the door. After ensuring that no one is hurt, the bartender races out the door, and calls after the bear: "What the hell did you do that for?" The bear

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-5592761596478715732008-05-28T02:01:00.000-07:002008-05-28T02:02:05.977-07:00

A Czechoslovakian man felt his eyesight was growing steadily worse, and felt it was time to go see an optometrist.The doctor started with some simple testing, and showed him a standard eye chart with letters of diminishing size: CRKBNWXSKZY..."Can you read this?" the doctor asked."Read it?" the Czech answered. "Doc, I know him!"

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-16757945829770659042008-03-18T12:46:00.001-07:002008-03-18T12:46:30.906-07:00

A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age." So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96. When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-61665355456614626732008-02-05T09:42:00.001-08:002008-02-05T09:42:56.488-08:00

Wife : Do you want dinner?Husband : Sure, what are my choices?Wife : Yes and no.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-39924477134280286072008-02-05T09:41:00.000-08:002008-02-05T09:42:13.742-08:00

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-54295352420171441652007-12-17T23:35:00.000-08:002007-12-17T23:55:44.192-08:00

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. . In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-14557069170945785972007-12-13T19:42:00.000-08:002007-12-13T19:45:26.721-08:00

Now this is the most hilarious piece of software i have seen...Auto-generating break-up mails is what i was looking for.. u know, its fast to automate all jobs u do frequently :D:Pcheck heretoo good !!

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-88264894863665760282007-08-15T21:38:00.001-07:002007-08-15T21:38:09.378-07:00

just amazing.. worth a watch !!

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-11298012631808442652007-08-14T21:36:00.000-07:002007-08-14T21:37:07.604-07:00

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled. "That sounds wonderful," said Jed. "Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-28474407521065695892007-08-06T14:42:00.001-07:002007-08-06T14:42:57.316-07:00

CHINESE PROVERBS* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~*Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.* ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~*Man who run in front of car get tyred.* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~*Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.* ~ * ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-43228685530834102912007-08-03T05:55:00.000-07:002007-08-03T05:58:55.554-07:00

Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open~~Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.~~Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-ByeSanta: Oh, yeah? What's it?Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good!

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-84983735925686809792007-08-02T11:56:00.001-07:002007-08-02T11:56:32.430-07:00

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then he asks the middle aged couple the same

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-59707471098624782952007-06-19T05:24:00.000-07:002007-06-19T05:27:16.621-07:00

Top ln(e^10) reasons why e is better than pi 10) e is easier to spell than pi. 9) pi ~= 3.14 while e ~=2.718281828459045. 8) The character for e can be found on a keyboard, but pi sure can't. 7) Everybody fights for their piece of the pie. 6) ln(pi^1) is a really nasty number, but ln(e^1) = 1. 5) e is used in calculus while pi is used in baby geometry. 4) 'e' is the most commonly picked

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-36101734455920442912007-03-24T05:54:00.001-07:002007-03-24T05:54:40.171-07:00

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”The other says, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.”

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-64301500484159809742007-03-24T05:35:00.000-07:002007-03-24T05:44:22.626-07:00

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson. “And what do you

Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-78034592755120623072007-03-24T05:34:00.000-07:002007-03-24T05:39:15.338-07:00

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-31030248442656508992007-03-24T05:32:00.001-07:002007-03-24T05:32:50.472-07:00

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever

Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-31164981653362440822007-03-24T05:26:00.000-07:002007-08-07T03:29:22.105-07:00

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-39803781831684620632007-03-24T05:23:00.000-07:002007-03-24T05:32:00.792-07:00

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I

Praj ~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07415630012778122351noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-15766742026520744582007-03-22T21:04:00.000-07:002007-03-22T21:05:04.323-07:00

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?""You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist."That's it, I can never remember that word."

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-76391941355993246352007-03-22T06:58:00.000-07:002007-03-22T06:59:21.558-07:00

Titanic was sinking.An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea.Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards!

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-80667778459969091212007-03-22T06:54:00.000-07:002007-03-22T06:55:07.468-07:00

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-31188245856424367042007-03-21T21:30:00.001-07:002007-03-21T21:30:31.097-07:00

Why do men like love at first sight?It saves them a lot of time.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-15272443733603574182007-03-21T05:12:00.001-07:002007-03-21T05:12:42.789-07:00

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever. The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing!

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-58956503131509743892007-03-20T20:54:00.001-07:002007-03-20T20:55:00.919-07:00

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-39301039595814999872007-03-20T06:30:00.001-07:002007-03-20T06:30:48.595-07:00

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.... Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you." Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette. Man: "Oh

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-44989094975868956382007-03-20T05:51:00.000-07:002007-03-20T05:52:08.900-07:00

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Kentucky State Lottery?The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-46487947726162011962007-03-20T05:47:00.000-07:002007-03-20T05:48:02.574-07:00

Artificial Intelligence stands no chance against Natural Stupidity.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-59672860273123465652007-03-18T07:08:00.000-07:002007-03-18T07:09:18.458-07:00

A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.His wife asks, "What's that for?" "It's for your headache." "I don't have a headache."He replies, "Gotcha!";);)

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-27742576731640234032007-03-18T07:07:00.000-07:002007-03-18T07:08:13.910-07:00

A lawyer a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn.""No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening. With that he

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-92000426226070137482007-03-18T07:05:00.000-07:002007-03-18T07:06:08.903-07:00

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?One's a bottom-dwelling scum sucker and the other's just a fish.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-41865130988310738322007-03-18T04:51:00.001-07:002007-03-18T04:51:41.399-07:00

A nurse in hospital asks the patient with broken-down head:Name?Sameer Bhatia.Date of birth?06 September 1965.Married?No. Car accident.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-44241771869371291242007-03-14T01:00:00.001-07:002007-03-14T01:00:31.400-07:00

A junior partner in a firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-1537677463401043922007-03-14T00:58:00.000-07:002007-03-14T00:59:08.169-07:00

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"The student replied, "Here's an orange."The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-67653209726040571532007-03-14T00:25:00.000-07:002007-03-14T00:26:27.519-07:00

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-41961455359897590512007-03-13T00:38:00.000-07:002007-03-13T01:07:59.290-07:00

- "Have you heard about the object-oriennted way to become wealthy?"- "No..."- "Inheritance." If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE. In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them. C gives you enough

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-76165722046438923562007-03-13T00:37:00.001-07:002007-03-13T00:37:54.009-07:00

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-77100760420503292462007-03-12T04:35:00.001-07:002007-03-12T04:36:14.171-07:00

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"The lawyer mulled this over for a

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-26986955020745080792007-03-11T04:29:00.000-07:002007-03-11T04:37:19.453-07:00

(Note for dummies : Chuck Norris : a martial arts professional and an action star)1. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he simply stares the book down till he gets the information he wants.2. Chuck Norris was the first one to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.4. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-34425378546141909932007-03-11T04:16:00.001-07:002007-03-11T04:16:27.166-07:00

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-8657875624275327362007-03-11T04:15:00.004-07:002007-03-11T04:16:06.657-07:00

A social worker asks a collegue: "What time is it?"The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-40104707778554531972007-03-11T04:15:00.003-07:002007-03-11T04:15:46.884-07:00

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and smack the asshole in the head.

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-26693741012349294312007-03-11T04:15:00.001-07:002007-03-11T04:15:22.664-07:00

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:GIRL : May I hold your hand?BOY : No thanks, it isn't heavy.GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!BOY : You love me...GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest coupleGIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-20384761890030093412007-03-11T04:14:00.001-07:002007-03-11T04:14:57.831-07:00

Top ten excuses for not doing the math homework Rank 24 (ø 2,52 )1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.2. Isaac Newton's birthday.3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.6

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7724729599696425363.post-86449422929357287562007-03-11T04:06:00.000-07:002007-03-11T04:16:57.703-07:00

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!""Is this her first child?" the doctor queries."No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Jitesh Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07784858389224126152noreply@blogger.com0